Transcript of my text message conversation with Dave today with my grammatical errors fixed.
Me: "Joe's bringing his brother and seester-in-law, do you want to ride up with me tomorrow night? I promise not to be late. Alan" Joe and Dave and I are all on a trivia team together and Dave is our all star, I am the captian and someday I hope to answer a question, but so far I have come up with a really great name and have assembled the team.
Dave: "If I go that's fine. Sick as #@*% today. We'll see how it goes tomorrow." Dave is obviously not feeling well, could it be an over indulgence at a super bowl party? Maybe the flue, maybe typhoid, at this point I do not know, I just don't want to get sick.
Me: "I'm sorry! Hope you feel better and seriously let me know if you need sick supplies, I may leave them on your porch tho." Again, I don't want to get sick thus leaving the supplies on the porch. I would have brought him Gatorade if he was dehydrated from pooping too much, diarrhea kills so many people worldwide and we do need Dave for trivial and I like him. It is obvious that I am a kind and good hearted friend though, unlike some people whose names will not be mentioned. Speaking of that unnamed person when I later told Joe that Dave was sick he immediately started to worry about our trivia standing without a thought to Dave's well-being or electrolyte balance.
Dave: "Whiskey and porn always helps" Me too!!! Oh my goodness, a commonality, although truly I think that if you're a guy these two things just make you feel better. Dave did forget beef jerky and cheese, with enough of the aforementioned items one would never really need to leave the house.
Me: "I have some whiskey and I'll make some porn asap" Note again what a kind and generous friend I am, while Joe is on the phone calling everyone he knows in case Dave can't make it to trivia I am thinking about what I can do to help the poor guy. I am all by myself here and I could use some help holding the camera if anyone has a few minutes. My biggest concern really is that Dave is using this sick day to pound out another book, Dave if you're too sick to go to trivia you're too sick to pump up your numbers. That's very similar to my mom's old saying of, "get your lazy ass up and your nose out of that book and do something you little bastard" except different.
Dave didn't write me back, I am sure he's just feeling better.
You know, if I was a lesser man, I would point out the hypocrisy of whining about me using sick time, barely moving out of bed, to read more when everybody's putting up books that they've read to their kids, like that's some big achievement, when the only person I have to read to is my cat, and his taste in books is terrible, so why bother? BUT....I am not that man, and I can assure you that I spent most of yesterday lying helplessly on the couch, knocking out season 5 of The Wire, and only read like 30 pages of Room. And I didn't forget beef jerky and cheese, it's just that the mere smell of those two would not have ended in beneficial ways.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I did mean to write you back, but I think I dozed off there for a couple of hours. It was not a good day.
Also, Omar died, and I am pissed. Worst season ever.
ReplyDeleteI too liked the drug dealing, professional thief, gay bad ass charater named Omar and was sad when he died. I think because he had that code that he lived by (never kill a civilian and be smmoth and carry a shotgun) and I wanted to be that cool and respected.
ReplyDeleteAaand you could post a childrens book that you read to yourself and we would count it, right James and Joe?