War & Peace (again)

I really didn't want to miss this book club meeting, but that's life.

Brief explanation: I committed to something for work that I thought I could do after the meeting only to find out later (my fault for not investigating) that it would take place just far enough away that my request that it be "after noon" did not save my attendance.

So, I'm not even master of my own schedule.

Therefore, I feel inclined (well, it's more self-indulgent than that, I suppose) to provide a few comments on the second segment of War & Peace.

First, as an administrative matter, I have discovered that my Kindle version and the print version do not match up on "book" or "part" numbers well at all. This may or may not have led to some confusion about specific citations and potential allegations of telepathic communication, but who's keeping score? We'll just agree that mistakes were made and be happy that I coordinated with the sanctioned print version. *

* It's all he-said-she-said stuff, really... and I don't live in the past (and thank God for that). Why are you looking at me like that?

I thought this second 300-page section was very good (too short on war scenes, but good nonetheless). I'll break down the parts of which I took particular note.**

** HELL YEAH I chose not to end that sentence with a preposition! Winston Churchill would be proud... but he may admonish me for reading a book that glorifies the French.

1. BEST QUOTES:

"You'll die and all will end. You'll die and know all, or cease asking."

- Pierre's inner dialogue. Sweet quote.

"All we can know is that we know nothing. And that's the height of human wisdom."

- Pierre again. He talks beautifully when he isn't speaking out loud.

"And thou art more foolish and unreasonable than a little child who, playing with the parts of a skillfully made watch, dares to say that, as he does not understand its use, he does not believe in the master who made it. To know Him is hard... For ages, from our forefather Adam to our own day, we labor to attain that knowledge and are still infinitely far from our aim; but in our lack of understanding we see only our weakness and His greatness..."

- Condescending Mason to Pierre.

"We civilians, as you know, have a very bad way of deciding whether a battle was won or lost. Those who retreat after a battle have lost it is what we say; and according to that it is we who lost the battle of Pultusk."

- I can only imagine a politician's response: Yeah, BUT STILL!

"I am alive, that is not my fault, so I must live out my life as best I can without hurting others."

- Andrei at a time when they should really keep sharp objects away from him.

"At that meeting he was struck for the first time by the endless variety of men's minds, which prevents a truth from ever presenting itself identically to two persons."

- Narrator... Tolstoy. My favorite quote so far in this book or maybe this year.


2. WAR SCENE GOES 1-FOR-1.

This War scene was awesome and it was the only one, so maybe it won't be such a sore subject. It was far superior to any ballroom dancing or fox hunting sections (which were unbearable). I'm hoping Tolstoy won some converts with this battle. Andrei gets wounded, the Army gets completely outclassed, and somehow everyone declares victory. It's so realistic! I especially loved Count Buxhowden's excuse that he could not command because of a saddle sore to avoid having to answer for stealing supplies from his own Army to feed his soldiers. That was a riot.

Also, the scenes in the fog were really, really well written.

3. EMPERORS MEET

I loved the scenes when the Emperors met and the little nuances of the pageantry and protocol. And how the characters seemed to feel uneasy about being amongst people they are usually trying to kill, but must be respectful toward and from whom they accept medals. Awkward, but interesting.

4. ILLUMINATI!

I love how Pierre gets too involved with the Masons and then upsets them by going all "Illuminati" on them. Does anyone else see the irony here? Anyone? Do I have to spell it out? (Fine, twist my arm).

OK, so I read a lot of books about people who believe in conspiracies (not conspiracy books, but the PEOPLE who believe those conspiracies). Most of them think the Masons ARE the Illuminati. As always they are all in cahoots according to these nut jobs.

To make a modern analogy that popped into my head as I read this: Pierre goes in front of a 9/11 Truther meeting and says, "I'm going to just say it... those planes were holograms covering missiles." AND THEN EVERYONE AT A TRUTHER MEETING LEAVES SHAKING THEIR HEADS AT HIM! He went too far even for them. Isn't that like being mocked at a Bob Seger concert for wearing a Kenny G shirt?***

*** Fine, I'm the only one who thinks this is great. I can accept that. Forget all of you.

5. NATASHA GOES ALL NUTTY

To summarize:

Natasha gets engaged awkwardly to a war hero who is by all accounts honorable and smart; sits through a year of waiting because a grown man can't get his dad to consent; gets bored by waiting (and bored by his letters); goes to meet his future in-laws (who are almost as crazy as she is); meets a good looking younger man whose father earlier tried to find a foolish rich girl (Mary) for him to marry because he's so hopeless; falls in love with said loser after knowing him for a grand total of 15 stare-filled minutes; cancels her engagement to Mr. Right; tries to elope with already-married-broke-loser-knucklehead-blackguard Anotole; tries to kill herself only to self report so she can be cured (attention whore); and then basically exits stage left after (figuratively) kicking Pierre in the teeth for good measure.

She's a real catch. In a related note, all the nicest men I know are single.#

# Do I have to spell it out, ladies? Stop dating losers. It had to be said.

6. PIERRE AND ANDREI

Really a tour-de-force of introspective debate about how we should live life.##

## Lesson one, when you free your serfs, make sure you actually give them freedom. D'oh!